Tuesday, November 15, 2011

It starts with one pill....

So, today was the day. My first round of Clomid. :o

 I prepared Josh for the worst case scenario:
-hot flashes
-mood swings
-basically being a bitch 

I am so excited/nervous about starting Clomid. How can something so tiny that I swallow be so intimidating?! But, I am hoping and praying this is my answer to finally have a take home baby!

Oh, and also-I suck at remember to take pills. I suck at remembering to take a Prenatal Vitamin! 
I have heard of gummy prenatals but never went and bought any...until the other day.
 Oh.My.God. They are amazing! I actually look forward to taking them now! I wish I could take more than the recommended dose a day! Ha. No really, I won't do that...but it is so tempting.

Anywho, so here's to a new plan for this cycle. Fingers crossed that we finally get pregnant and STAY pregnant!


Tuesday, November 8, 2011

A New Plan

I had my appointment today with my OBGYN. It was basically a consultation to sit and talk about what we are going to do next. And, we now have a new plan!

He decided to start me on Clomid. I am nervous but excited all at once. I have heard so many success stories from people who used Clomid, but also know of some ladies who have still had no luck with it.

I am hoping it is the key for us to get pregnant. I have felt so defeated the past few months and I don't know how much longer I am going to be able to keep things together.

I have such a tough exterior, but inside I am dying. I feel like I am a failure. I feel that I am a failure to my husband, my family, friends, and everyone. Almost weekly I get asked if I have children yet. It kills me when I tell them no. Especially when they ask why not. Well, of course I just brush it off with some generic response like "Oh, we are still young, it will happen whenever it happens." But I would love to burst out saying "Because my body sucks and doesn't work like everyone elses. I can't just have sex one time and POOF-baby". If only people truly understood that getting pregnant really is not easy for everyone.

Well, that is enough rambling for now. I am about to get some sleep.

Monday, November 7, 2011

I really suck at this....

Really, I suck at this blog stuff. Funny thing is that I LOVE to write and express my feelings through words.

No real updates on me. Still not pregnant. I do have an appointment tomorrow to see what the hell we are doing next. I am a little nervous about it, but that is normal for me.

Anywho, I am going to try(like I have said a million times) to keep this thing up and running instead of letting it float in the interwebs clogging up space!